Remembering pets with love - bereavement café coming to York

The Yorkshire Barn at Murton Park (Yorkshire Farming Museum) is playing host to a bereavement café with a difference on Monday 11th March, one in which the focus is on remembering pets, with the launch of a Pet Bereavement Café by Mill Cottage Pet Crematorium.

As celebrant Fiona Brown (who runs the Yorkshire Barn Bereavement Cafes) explains: “Our bereavement sessions (for humans!) have been popular and a great support network has developed. The idea to remember our pets came from some of those who attend and having lost my own pet last year I really empathised.

"For those of us who have pets, they are very much part of our family. It is important to recognise this and grieve for them when they have left our lives. It can be difficult for others to understand how we feel and well-meaning comments like ‘well you can always get another one’, can cut deep.

"There can be feelings of guilt if we want to grieve. They weren’t ‘just pets’ to us and we will always love them.  Pets give us unconditional love so their loss can be heartbreaking, leaving a massive hole.  You don’t get over the loss of a loved one, whether two legs or four but you can learn to live with it.

This pet bereavement café session is somewhere safe for people to come and share their experiences, to talk about their pet and how much they meant to them, to support one another and hopefully to make friends.

We will have various symbolic activities on offer, including a candle lighting in memory, time for private reflection and prayer from Pastor Will Horner, a reading from York poet Collette Wright on Rainbow Bridge and a talk from a pet bereavement counsellor from Mill Cottage Pet Crematorium."

Mill Cottage Pet Crematorium have been providing pet bereavement counselling to their human clients for some time and wanted to broaden their reach by launching a pet bereavement café. 

As Theresea  Williams explained: "At Mill Cottage Pet Crematorium we offer bereavement and grieving support from the first moment of contact with our pet families.

"Having experienced the loss of two elderly dogs three years ago, we have true empathy and for me personally having worked with humans who are grieving, I understand the similarities and differences.

"We like to tailor what we do to suit each family, whether you require a lot of care and support or occasional, we are there throughout.

"Quite often after a pet’s cremation, once the ashes have been returned home, people feel that’s the end. In fact it’s more like the beginning of adjusting to a new life without your loving companion and this can be extremely difficult.

"It’s at this point we are able to share conversations, ideas and offer more help and advice.

"We believe the pet bereavement cafe will be a great place for us all to meet other pet lovers, to share our experiences and find the level of help and support we would like. Also for those who are yet to go through the loss of a pet, but feel it’s imminent, they may like to attend to further prepare themselves.”

As the Yorkshire Barn is a dog-friendly café and already hosts a monthly bereavement group, it seemed the ideal place to launch a pet bereavement café and Mill Cottage Pet Crematorium hope to make the meet ups a regular occurrence. 

For those who wish to attend on Monday 11th March, the cafe begins with an informal meet up at 10am, with the talk and period of reflection from 11am to 11.30am. There is no need to book but for catering purposes there is an events page on Facebook (theyorkshirebarnmurton) where people can indicate if they will wish to come along.  A complimentary cuppa and a cookie will be provided and people are welcome to stay on after the bereavement session ends if they would like to buy something to eat from the Yorkshire Barn menu.